A Socially Acceptable Breakdown by Patrick Roche

Author:Patrick Roche [Roche, Patrick]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-63834-017-1
Publisher: Button Poetry
Published: 2021-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

Calling

Mom

Poem in Which Flowers Are Replaced by My Brain

Late April and my brain is losing petals in the wind

But still my brain buds and blooms and is a symbol

of love when gifted to a partner

Children, the elderly, smiling neighbors—

they all think my brain can be so pretty and reminds them of

the possibility of a springtime for anything

But I have never seen the appeal

Always a cynic, always thinking: what a sign

of temporary nature my brain is

The second I pluck it in my hands and offer it to someone

my brain already seems to begin withering

My brain can look striking when pressed in the pages of a notebook

My brain would like to be worn on a sleeve or lapel on a wedding day

and everyone can look at the photos and say

how perfect my brain was

I pick pieces of my brain off one at a time whenever I question if

someone loves me. I question a lot. I pick a lot of pieces off my brain

I think I’ve made my brain ugly too often

I fear even a desperate honeybee would grimace

My brain cycles through winters and

the rain fills the ground around it and it takes the flood

and blooms again. Briefly. My brain is a resilient beauty at times

I do not have a green thumb. I try to plant

my brain and I return with broken brain stems and barren soil

I overwater my brain or I leave it out in the sun and it shrivels

But I think sometimes birds still sing when they see my brain out

in the sunlight even if it is imperfect and even if no one would want

my brain adorning their mantle or their coffee table or their hair

The first thing I think of when I remember all the funerals

is how my brain looked and felt and smelled. And I hate that

I think I am unkind and ungrateful to nature for my brain

I think maybe I should learn to paint. And I will study

every color necessary for my brain. And maybe

someone will look at the painting and think:

you can really tell how much this artist loved his brain

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